(Special thank you to www.cathysmithphotography.com
for allowing us to use this beautiful image she took of Venice and her family. )
Hey MWC Mommas,
At such a difficult time in our world, I am so happy that I have been given the opportunity to have a little mom community in all of you. Every time I hear and read your stories it makes me so proud to be a mom. These interviews have been such a blessing. Our next momma is the wife of one of the most influential people in my fiance's life. He has helped shape him into the man he is, and because of that I knew he must have an incredible woman beside him. I couldn't have been more right. I am so happy to introduce you all to Venice. Here is her interview.
Hi, I'm Venice, I'm 32, and I'm currently a fulltime stay at home mom, pushing into month 18. I was a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer in Pennsylvania for 7 years and once we moved to Connecticut I switched gears and pursued a career as a Makeup Artist for 2 years.
How old are your kids?
I am a step mom of a beautiful 20 year old daughter in college and I have an energetic 18 month old son.
Are you a single momma, do you have a partner, a co-parent, do friends or family help, a mix of all of these, or other? Please explain.
I've been married for 6 years and together for 14. Most of my parenting duties were primarily on me, since I'm home. We lived 3 states away from both of our families and my husband's coaching career requires a lot of traveling and long work days.
Before you had kids, what ideas did you have about how you would be as a mother?
I am a very detailed person. I enjoyed taking on multiple tasks and always meeting deadlines. Prior to having my own baby, I assumed I could implement these same structures to parenting and excel with a cooperative child and not get overwhelmed. Yea, that was a joke! I am finding my new normal in addressing things that are priorities. Everything else handled is a bonus. I also try not to hold unrealistic expectations on how we spend our free time. It's ok to just chill!
What do you think is the most difficult part about being a mom?
The selflessness. Being a Makeup Artist, I focused on beauty and keeping up with my appearance, after all I'm like a walking billboard for my freelance business. Rambunctious toddlers and makeup do not mix! I am learning to keep everything simple and enjoy the pure face I see in the mirror. My phone calls revolve around him, my errands revolve around him and most importantly my money spent revolves around him. I am completely okay with that, but it does hit you every once in a while that you are frozen in time trying to help raise and care for someone else. The balance of relationships is tough too. You assume friends and most importantly your partner will understand the shift in attention but sometimes people don't realize this mom switch doesnt cut off! My babies come first!
What is the best part about being a mom?
That I am his person. Even on his crabby days, my embrace is the only one he wants. As for my daughter the relationship we have is incomparable. The patience and trust I've built with her over the years allows us to have such an enjoyable relationship as she becomes an adult. She has 2 full sets of parents so I've found my lane to be her guide and I know she appreciates it.
What are some hacks and tips that you use to make daily mom life easier?
He eats what I eat 95% of the time. No separate menus and he usually is open to try so many new flavors. My husband is a very picky eater so my plan to prevent that in our son is important to me.
What are the most annoying daily tasks that you just wish you could make easier?
How do you currently handle them? I'm currently still breastfeeding with the intent to wean by this summer. Nursing for my son is more of a comfort /bonding experience and sleep is usually impossible without being right up under me. I do wish for him to self soothe more independently one day. For now I'm following his lead.
What things do you wish you knew before becoming a mom?
That everyone and their problems becomes so irrelevant to you and even listening to small gripes make you realize just how much this new role has changed your outlook. I can only imagine how immature and irrational I sounded to other mothers in the past as I complained about being tired or having no me time or even not being able to go out after working hard all week lol.
How have the moms in your life shaped you and how you are as a mother?
I was the last of my friends and cousins to have a baby so at 31 so I was full of examples and ideas on how I'd actually be as a mommy. They unconsciously showed me that NOTHING ever goes as planned in motherhood so get this preplanned idea out of your head. Instead try your best and enjoy the journey. Your kids won't know any different.
If there is a mom out there reading this that is struggling, what would you like to tell her?
Breathe! And know that God never gives you anything you can't handle. It sounds so cliche to say motherhood gave me my purpose, but it did. I am trying to mirror what I want my son to see and being so critical of myself isnt the way to go.
A happy baby is one that is loved, and knowing that makes this job easy.